Overlooked Details When Hiring a Family Law Attorney
By Sam Vigil


The Attorney
Find a family law attorney who specializes in high conflict custody cases, preferably with knowledge of Parental Alienation
Parental Alienation - when a parent encourages the child to reject the other parent and discourages their relationship.
Verify the attorney you are considering is licensed to practice law, a good track record and reputation. Interested in resolving conflict amiably and not prolonging it with adverse tactics. A good indication is a preference for collaboration law as opposed to litigation.
Collaborative law: Both parties and their attorneys agree to use a binding contract to use cooperative strategies to come to an agreement. When an agreement cannot be reached and it goes to litigation the attorneys agree to withdraw from the case and not assist either party any further.
Judges dislike tactics that promote adversity instead of resolution. and it can hinder your involvement with your children by influencing their ruling. What they want is finality of the case.
Working with Attorney
Be honest with the attorney you hire. This includes divulging what reflects negatively on you. Remember he is not there to judge you, but to represent you to the best of his ability. Failing to fully tell him will hinder him from representing you effectively. When the opposition brings up the negatives he will have to defending you instead of pro-actively retaining your involvement with your children Do not let your pride or shame get in the way of being with your children.
Minor Detail often Overlooked
Ask potential attorneys for their license to practice law in you jurisdiction. I got side swiped overlooking this costly detail.
Anxiously waiting for my attorney while sitting in the gallery the Judge announced my docket number. I had desperately tried to phone him from the lobby earlier when he failed to show up to meet me before the hearing to go over my case.
As I'm standing at the respondent's table my ex-wife's attorney state her representing for my ex and her presence for the record. They smirk at me. Feeling vulnerable I tell the Judge that my attorney is not present, but expect that he will be here shortly.
"Do you know why he is late?" He asked.
"I called and left him a message, but have not heard back from him." I replied.
"Do you know if he is aware that there is a hearing today?"
"Yes, yesterday we made arrangement to meet in the lobby before the hearing."
My ex's attorney cut in and asks the Judge to order me to produce contact information for my lawyer and he orders me to do as requested.
I start to panic, my mind whirls with unanswered questions. What is going on? Where the hell is he? What do... ?
At the same time I'm bombarded with unanswerable questions of theirs. Why is he not present? How did you come about obtaining his services?
Before I can my equilibrium back my ex's attorney addresses the court. "Your Honor, I looked up the respondent's attorney in the registry at the State Bar Association and found no record of him. I also believe that the respondent hired him knowing that he was not licensed to practice law. Therefore, we ask that he be held in contempt of court and serve time in jail to the fullest extent of the law."
"Request denied and ordered a continuance."
Thankfully, the Judge saw through her ploy and recognized that I was swindled.
Hiring this scam artist could have landed me in jail. In addition, cost me money, time, and delayed involvement with my children. If I would have asked for his license to practice law I would have saved myself from this ordeal. Pay attention to the small details.
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Be a Proactive Parent Against Parental Alienation

By Sam Vigil

First things First

Contending with the complexities of Parental Alienation is frustrating. To help reduce frustration you need to acquire the tools and prepare yourself to combat this form of emotional abuse. But, before you get started on increasing the chances of maintaining a relationship with your children there is one thing you must understand. Which is the only thing you have control of are the choices you make. Getting a respectable judgment on a parenting plan will depend greatly on making beat choices that will influence the outcome you seek.

This takes being honest with yourself and the question you need to ask yourself before you pursue a parenting plan, " What is your true motive for seeking a plan?"

Seeking custody to retaliate against your ex for leaving and keeping the children away from you is a normal impulse, but those are wrong reasons to go to court. Getting even only adds fuel to the fire; perpetuating a vicious cycle of conflict where no one wins. The victory you feel for avenging your anger will only be temporary.

The right reason for seeking involvement with your children is to fulfill your responsibility of being a parent. If your purpose is to even the score; stop, do not read any further. You are doing it for the wrong reason. But, if you are in it to help your children's wellbeing continue on, They deserve to have the love of a responsible parent.

Knowledge is Power

Understanding Parental Alienation, the family laws of your case, and yourself is where you will gain power. This knowledge will give you the wisdom of where to apply your energy to optimize good results.

A resource I found extremely helpful in understanding the nut and bolts of Parental Alienation is Amy J. L. Baker's book "Adult Children of Parental Alienation; Breaking the Ties that Bind." She explains what it is, how it's implemented, and gives the in-depth makeup of whom engages in alienating their children from the target parent.

Identifying the tactics and strategies enables you to respond to the provocations from your ex in a proactive way. This can reduce the negative effects it may have on the parent-child relationship. You will also be better equipped to educate court officers and your attorney to the alienation that is occurring which is hindering you from having a real relationship with your children.

Along with identifying the strategies look from your ex's prospective to gain an understanding why she is alienating you. Is it because of a narcissistic personality, insecurity, pain, or a combination of them? Understanding the reason(s) can give you a way to moderate the conflict.

You also need to identify the triggers that cause you to react negatively. This will keep you from falling into the trap of getting even, which will take focus away from having involvement with your children.

The next thing to do is find an attorney in family law who specializes in high conflict custody cases with a good track record and reputation.

As you become educated with Parental Alienation, family law, and work with an attorney tend to your wellbeing. Get proper rest, eat a healthy diet, and do activities you enjoy. This will rejuvenate you and keep you from bogging down. Be either proactive or reactive the choice is yours.

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Article Source: EzineArticles.com Be a Proactive Parent Against Parental Alienation