The positive I see from your observatio
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost
Top 10 Divorce Issues Of The Decade: A Divorce Attorney's Perspective
The positive I see from your observatio
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost
Help Your Child Through Anxiety
Help Your Child Through Anxiety
By Sam Vigil
When your child's behavior changes and is interfering with her development she may be struggling with anxiety. The behaviors that are interfering with her development and singles that she is having difficulty coping are clinginess, over-dependence, shyness, withdrawing, fearfulness, recklessly fearless, and uneasiness in social situations. Anxiety can affect them negatively in a number of areas, such as, academically because it makes it difficult to focus, socially a child does not conduct herself in a manner congruent with situations, and over or under reacts to social issues. Anxiety can physically affect them with abdominal pains and irregular bowel movements, chest pains and irregular respiratory and heart rate, and headaches and dizziness. Psychologically it can cause fearfulness, hopelessness, loneliness, and nightmares.
Anxiety is perceived fear of danger triggered by traumatic events, consistent stressors, and distorted beliefs. The fear stems from is feeling alone because a friend moved away, someone close has died, uncertainty of wellbeing due to divorce, and pressure from parental alienation. If you are going through a divorce, custody battle, or parental alienation is present evaluate your motives for helping your child through anxiety. Your cause should be to help her and not to align her to your side of the battle or to hurt your ex-partner. Resist the temptation of criticizing or blaming her for the difficulty your child is going through. Keep the conflict between you and your ex.
Use sound reasoning, discernment, and be equipped with are an understanding of her temperament and the developmental stage she is in. This will help you determine the best approach in helping her. Do not be judgmental of the way your child is feeling. This will only exasperate her anxiety and will stymie your effort. Remember her feelings are real. Once you have determined that your motive is to help her through anxiety you need to be prepared to put in the time and effort with patients.
Start by providing an environment where she feels safe to express herself freely. Then listen to her carefully without interruptions to her statement for fears and concern that may be under the surface; unless you need clarification, and then acknowledge her feelings with empathy. This will indicate that you care and build her trust to confidently approach you for support. In addition, help her with critical thinking to come up with solutions in handling anxiety in the future. If she perceives that you are not truly there for her she may become resentful and withdraw from you making it harder to help. While helping your child through her anxiety, developmental stage, and critical thinking allow her to go through the process at her own pace. Give her the time to cope. Rushing her will just add anxiety to her concerns and hinder her development.
https://visionsx1.wordpress.com/
Article Source: http://ezinearticles.com/ezinepublisher/?id=5455751Help Your Child Through Anxiety
By Sam Vigil
When your child's behavior changes and is interfering with her development she may be struggling with anxiety. The behaviors that are interfering with her development and singles that she is having difficulty coping are clinginess, over-dependence, shyness, withdrawing, fearfulness, recklessly fearless, and uneasiness in social situations. Anxiety can affect them negatively in a number of areas, such as, academically because it makes it difficult to focus, socially a child does not conduct herself in a manner congruent with situations, and over or under reacts to social issues. Anxiety can physically affect them with abdominal pains and irregular bowel movements, chest pains and irregular respiratory and heart rate, and headaches and dizziness. Psychologically it can cause fearfulness, hopelessness, loneliness, and nightmares.
Anxiety is perceived fear of danger triggered by traumatic events, consistent stressors, and distorted beliefs. The fear stems from is feeling alone because a friend moved away, someone close has died, uncertainty of wellbeing due to divorce, and pressure from parental alienation. If you are going through a divorce, custody battle, or parental alienation is present evaluate your motives for helping your child through anxiety. Your cause should be to help her and not to align her to your side of the battle or to hurt your ex-partner. Resist the temptation of criticizing or blaming her for the difficulty your child is going through. Keep the conflict between you and your ex.
Use sound reasoning, discernment, and be equipped with are an understanding of her temperament and the developmental stage she is in. This will help you determine the best approach in helping her. Do not be judgmental of the way your child is feeling. This will only exasperate her anxiety and will stymie your effort. Remember her feelings are real. Once you have determined that your motive is to help her through anxiety you need to be prepared to put in the time and effort with patients.
Start by providing an environment where she feels safe to express herself freely. Then listen to her carefully without interruptions to her statement for fears and concern that may be under the surface; unless you need clarification, and then acknowledge her feelings with empathy. This will indicate that you care and build her trust to confidently approach you for support. In addition, help her with critical thinking to come up with solutions in handling anxiety in the future. If she perceives that you are not truly there for her she may become resentful and withdraw from you making it harder to help. While helping your child through her anxiety, developmental stage, and critical thinking allow her to go through the process at her own pace. Give her the time to cope. Rushing her will just add anxiety to her concerns and hinder her development.
https://visionsx1.wordpress.com/
Article Source: http://ezinearticles.com/ezinepublisher/?id=5455751Help Your Child Through Anxiety
Signs of Parental Alienation: Us vs Me
Signs of Parental Alienation: Us vs Me: "A good sign of someone who is emeshed in their thinking with the children is a parent who constantly uses 'us'.. instead of me/I. For exampl..."
Are You a Target of Emotional Blackmail?
By Sam Vigil
When people manipulate you to get their way at the expense of your wants, needs, well being, and disregard the boundaries of the relationship between the two of you is a strong indicator of Emotional Blackmail.
There are six stages in the cycle that comprises the extortion:
1. The demand
2. Resistance
3. Pressure
4. Threats
5. Compliance
6. Repetition
In a quest for satisfying their desires, the blackmailer puts the process in motion with a demand which defrauds and compromises yours or another person's self-respect, integrity, well being, and boundaries.
Because complying with the demand violates the target's integrity there is usually resistance to maintain and keep their self-esteem in tact.
With the show of resistance the blackmailer will put the pressure on the target by making them feel fearful, obligated, and guilty for noncompliance and continue the aggravation until they submit. They will use the fact that they did such and such for you implying that you owe them for the favor. They will also play the; if you love me, you would do this for me, card. When you honor your integrity and do not submit to their demands they will often increase the pressure with threats; such as, if you do not do this for me I will leave you and take the kids with me and you will never see them again. Or, they may make tantalizing promises to coerce you into submitting. Like a job promotion and in the context of divorce the custodial parent promises the non-custodial parent extra time with the children often in conjunction with threats to keep them from the target. After they get what they want they normally do not keep their promises. Regardless of which tactic is used you are being emotionally attacked in an attempt to coerce you into giving in and satisfying their desires.
Because the fears of the imposed or implied consequences are too overpowering for them, the tantalizing promises made will be withdrawn, or the blackmailer will ignores them causing them to feel rejected and unloved. The target, often finds themselves giving in to the pressure.
Complying is the exchange the target makes to suppress the anxiety, keep the peace, be in good standings with the blackmailer, and have the hope that their needs might be respected. The reason they compromise their values is to obtain a sense of self-worth though distorted and a false sense of security. By capitulating the target is able to temporally quiet down their anxiety only to find themselves in the same position the next time they resist.
Recognizing the traits of emotional blackmail and the components of the manipulation cycle are important to effectively deal with the compromising demands and the extortionist. Failing to correct the exploitation will only encourage the perpetrator to repeat the tactics, until you put a stop to it.
You are a target of emotional blackmail if any of the following apply to get your compliance.
1. The blackmailer threatens to harm or make your life difficult.
2. Threatens to end the relationship with you.
3. Implies it will be your fault if they become depressed and warn you that they will neglect and harm themselves if they do not get what they want.
4. Believe you will submit.
5. When you meet their demands they always want more.
6. Consistently discount your personal boundaries, wants, needs, and feelings.
7. Sway you with promises that are dependent on your subordination which are rarely kept.
8. Constantly bad-mouth and label you as self-centered, unappreciative, uncaring, and greedy.
9. Ignore you with silent contempt until you satisfy their wants.
10. Shower you with affection when you give in and deny it when you resist.
11. Use money to gain compliance with bribes or by restricting you access to the cash.
12. In my opinion the worst perpetuator of emotional blackmail are those who use children as an emotional weapon in parental alienation and highly conflicted custody battles to get their counter part to react negatively and use the targets behavior to turn the children against them and increase their chances of gaining custody. They will spotlight the behavior in court to persuade the Judge to rule in their favor. Not only do they disrespect you they also disregard the children's well being.
We all use manipulation to get desired results and negotiate life. It becomes Emotional Blackmail when your sense of fear, obligation, and guilt are used in coercion with the demand in order to get you to concede.
You need to identify if the demand makes you experience fear, obligation, and/or guilt. If so, be aware of why it makes you feel anxious.
1. Is it because it goes against your values and self-respect?
2. Is your well being disregarded when they want their needs meet?
3. Do you give in order to keep the peace or to feed your own insecurities?
The key to alleviate the anxiety is realizing what emotions the demands triggers in you, identifying why it causes you to feel the way you do, and recognizing that your well being is being disregarded.
Understanding why you give in to the manipulation and why it causes you to compromise yourself will give you direction in correcting how you respond in limiting the extortion and setting healthy boundaries with the blackmailer by stating your needs, wants, and boundaries without threats if they are violated, even if there is conflict with the request.
A request in its-self does not constitute emotional blackmail. It transitions into extortion when pressure is put forth to the sense of fear, obligation, and guilt to get compliance from another person. The question is whether they will respect the wants and needs of the person, and honor the boundaries of the relationship or not.
You must acknowledge the traits of being exploited and the anxiety it is causing you in order to set boundaries that will put the relationship on a more solid foundation or sever the dysfunctional relationship from the person who disrespect and emotionally abuses you to get their way.
Maintain your integrity Keep your self-respect. Be true to yourself. visionsx1.wordpress.com
Article Source:EzineArticles.com
When people manipulate you to get their way at the expense of your wants, needs, well being, and disregard the boundaries of the relationship between the two of you is a strong indicator of Emotional Blackmail.
There are six stages in the cycle that comprises the extortion:
1. The demand
2. Resistance
3. Pressure
4. Threats
5. Compliance
6. Repetition
In a quest for satisfying their desires, the blackmailer puts the process in motion with a demand which defrauds and compromises yours or another person's self-respect, integrity, well being, and boundaries.
Because complying with the demand violates the target's integrity there is usually resistance to maintain and keep their self-esteem in tact.
With the show of resistance the blackmailer will put the pressure on the target by making them feel fearful, obligated, and guilty for noncompliance and continue the aggravation until they submit. They will use the fact that they did such and such for you implying that you owe them for the favor. They will also play the; if you love me, you would do this for me, card. When you honor your integrity and do not submit to their demands they will often increase the pressure with threats; such as, if you do not do this for me I will leave you and take the kids with me and you will never see them again. Or, they may make tantalizing promises to coerce you into submitting. Like a job promotion and in the context of divorce the custodial parent promises the non-custodial parent extra time with the children often in conjunction with threats to keep them from the target. After they get what they want they normally do not keep their promises. Regardless of which tactic is used you are being emotionally attacked in an attempt to coerce you into giving in and satisfying their desires.
Because the fears of the imposed or implied consequences are too overpowering for them, the tantalizing promises made will be withdrawn, or the blackmailer will ignores them causing them to feel rejected and unloved. The target, often finds themselves giving in to the pressure.
Complying is the exchange the target makes to suppress the anxiety, keep the peace, be in good standings with the blackmailer, and have the hope that their needs might be respected. The reason they compromise their values is to obtain a sense of self-worth though distorted and a false sense of security. By capitulating the target is able to temporally quiet down their anxiety only to find themselves in the same position the next time they resist.
Recognizing the traits of emotional blackmail and the components of the manipulation cycle are important to effectively deal with the compromising demands and the extortionist. Failing to correct the exploitation will only encourage the perpetrator to repeat the tactics, until you put a stop to it.
You are a target of emotional blackmail if any of the following apply to get your compliance.
1. The blackmailer threatens to harm or make your life difficult.
2. Threatens to end the relationship with you.
3. Implies it will be your fault if they become depressed and warn you that they will neglect and harm themselves if they do not get what they want.
4. Believe you will submit.
5. When you meet their demands they always want more.
6. Consistently discount your personal boundaries, wants, needs, and feelings.
7. Sway you with promises that are dependent on your subordination which are rarely kept.
8. Constantly bad-mouth and label you as self-centered, unappreciative, uncaring, and greedy.
9. Ignore you with silent contempt until you satisfy their wants.
10. Shower you with affection when you give in and deny it when you resist.
11. Use money to gain compliance with bribes or by restricting you access to the cash.
12. In my opinion the worst perpetuator of emotional blackmail are those who use children as an emotional weapon in parental alienation and highly conflicted custody battles to get their counter part to react negatively and use the targets behavior to turn the children against them and increase their chances of gaining custody. They will spotlight the behavior in court to persuade the Judge to rule in their favor. Not only do they disrespect you they also disregard the children's well being.
We all use manipulation to get desired results and negotiate life. It becomes Emotional Blackmail when your sense of fear, obligation, and guilt are used in coercion with the demand in order to get you to concede.
You need to identify if the demand makes you experience fear, obligation, and/or guilt. If so, be aware of why it makes you feel anxious.
1. Is it because it goes against your values and self-respect?
2. Is your well being disregarded when they want their needs meet?
3. Do you give in order to keep the peace or to feed your own insecurities?
The key to alleviate the anxiety is realizing what emotions the demands triggers in you, identifying why it causes you to feel the way you do, and recognizing that your well being is being disregarded.
Understanding why you give in to the manipulation and why it causes you to compromise yourself will give you direction in correcting how you respond in limiting the extortion and setting healthy boundaries with the blackmailer by stating your needs, wants, and boundaries without threats if they are violated, even if there is conflict with the request.
A request in its-self does not constitute emotional blackmail. It transitions into extortion when pressure is put forth to the sense of fear, obligation, and guilt to get compliance from another person. The question is whether they will respect the wants and needs of the person, and honor the boundaries of the relationship or not.
You must acknowledge the traits of being exploited and the anxiety it is causing you in order to set boundaries that will put the relationship on a more solid foundation or sever the dysfunctional relationship from the person who disrespect and emotionally abuses you to get their way.
Maintain your integrity Keep your self-respect. Be true to yourself. visionsx1.wordpress.com
Article Source:EzineArticles.com
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